Yes – I got myself into trouble again!!!  Me and my big mouth!!!  In fact I had no intention of saying anything, and suddenly I heard myself talking!!!

I’m sure it was my ‘other side’!  As I said previously, I was feeling like a zombie -but somewhere deep down there was still a spark – and I think that’s what surfaced!!

We had been in  the arena watching Kert work with a horse – Snap – belonging to one of the students. He had said earlier he was going to work on saddling the horse, as it was known to have issues with that.

After this particular session he asked the group if we had any questions.  Suddenly,  I heard myself saying  “Are we going to see you work on saddling the horse?”  I don’t know why I asked – probably because he said he would be!!

Many of the others looked at me in shock – as if I had said something terrible!  At that point I didn’t really care, but why had I opened my mouth again!??

For a few seconds Kert just stared at me – then said ‘We’ll see’.  I knew I had crossed some sort of a line but didn’t think any more of it.

We only had a half day that day – I had given up caring whether they were full or half days!!!  The next day we were meeting in the arena and Kert addressed the group.

He started by bringing up my questioning of saddling the horse.  Oh noooooo….. here we go again!

He said to the group ” How did Heather’s question sound?”

People were eager to answer.

“It felt rushed”

“There is a ‘wanting'”

“It was an attack on you Kert!”

“It wasn’t in line with destiny”…..

What????  WHAT??????  Did they really think that??

So now my classmates were joining in!  I felt ostracised!!  Once again I was struggling not to cry!

Kert continued  – “How could Heather have worded this question?”

Someone said “Kert, if it is on your path, is there a possibility that we may see a horse saddled?”

Another said this – “Kert, if it is on the spiral of destiny, would we be able to see a saddling demonstration?”

Oh!!!  Give me a break!!!!  Were they hearing themselves???

Kert went on… he said in communication it is important to split the parts of sender and receiver.  He said he is following destiny and he felt ‘attacked’.  There is a ‘wish’ in me!!  A ‘wanting’. It is important to communicate correctly!

I apologised for asking the question.  He said there was no need to apologise – it was a ‘teaching’.  Well, I just didn’t need any more of those teachings!!!  Luckily he then moved on to one of the one year students – to examine her ‘layers’.

I was cold, tired and fragile –  was I now living in some alternate world?  Everyone else seemed to be conforming!  Was I the only one struggling here?

Maybe I was going mad!!




6 thoughts on “Part 57 – I Must Not ‘Want’!

  1. What a pain! I am hesitant to go to clinics because I doubt I will find someone with as much patience and gentleness as my previous teacher. She did so much to help open my eyes to new ways of thinking, acting, and learning.

    I had a dog trainer like Kert who would berate people on a microphone during training sessions. She was very willing to refuse to change the training collar our puppy was given because ‘we were using it wrong, and she wouldn’t be getting cuts and blisters on her neck if we would just have listened and done what she said.’

    The verbal abuse, inability to question the lesson, and silencing of different ideas was a huge red flag. If I can’t question the trainer, then does their method really work, or are they just stubbornly making people accept their techniques -just like they are treating the horses? Food for thought!

    Liked by 2 people

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