I continue on here with more extracts from the book by Sigrid Kreile “Under The Spell of the Horse Shaman” – translated from German to English.
The following shows that the parents of one of the members were alarmed by what was happening:
In the meantime the parents of Hans had asked the Sect Commision to investigate Rolf. They had become increasingly worried about their son, who had given all his money and belongings to Rolf. The latter laughed and said that these people just did not understand anything. He spoke to Hans about his parent’s actions, and said he had always opposed the idea that he was a sect leader. He went on to warn him that he would sue anyone who claimed he was.
‘Money was an everlasting problem. Most of the 300.000 Mark, which had come out of Martin’s business, had been used, and his firm was now almost bankrupt.
‘Rolf’ decides to go to Namibia to contact the elusive Bushmen – this describes the chaos prior to him leaving. This description is a constant throughout the book. Sigrid is constantly criticised for everything – especially her mothering:
On the day of their trip, the house is in chaos. Adrian feels the atmosphere and is crying. Rolf cannot stand it anymore and starts screaming at the child, who suddenly very frightened keeps his mouth shut. This is how it is done he explains to Sigrid. Then once more, he has to show her what a bad mother she is, how incompetent she is around the house etc etc. Sigrid breaks down in tears and wonders why she is constantly the scapegoat. She is trying so hard, yet she is never good enough. Her self worth is rock bottom and in tears she tells the others she can no longer go on, she wants out.
Sigrid and Karin have a car accident when another driver loses control of their car. Both their sons are with them and fortunately no one is hurt. Finally this is the catalyst she needs to break free:
Her car is a write off. Karin phones the other house mates and later Rolf who orders them to discuss this and find out why it happened. The group decides it is all Sigrid’s fault, and give her a very hard time, calling her a negative, stubborn person who never gets anything right.
She rushes out of the house with Adrian and goes into the village, thinking what she needs to do. She comes to the conclusion her car accident was a huge wake up call: she is not happy in the group, petrified when Rolf is around and Karin is in a similar situation. She has to get out, before it is too late.
Sigrid has finally broken the spell! The next post will show the difficulties she faced as she tried to move the group from her house.
COMING UP – BATTLES WITH THE HORSE SHAMAN
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