Had I understood properly, I would have realised that Ducati tried to teach me about the importance of the two way conversation earlier in the year of 2017 – when I had my accident. In one of my animal communication sessions he talked about ‘the charisma’. He said you need the charisma to accompany the clicker training. The charisma was his word for the two way conversation.
This is an animal communication session I had with him a few years back:
Ducati: Yes – charisma is unconditional love. In the horse world – very few horses are loved unconditionally – it’s about what they can do! Not about their very being!
The airy- fairys talk about this – but mostly, it is talk and the actions speak differently – they are always trying to get the horse to DO something. They don’t understand why it might be hard for us to do it!
Me: So we talked about this charisma quite a while back and you said this needs to be taught along with clicker training – how and what do you mean – because I have a lifetime of mechanics and clicker training to learn here! Do I really need to learn charisma.
Ducati: Ohh – don’t tell me that! Look at Magnum! Can’t you see the time you spent with him lifting his legs and trimming led to increased charisma? Because you assessed the small steps – you never pushed – you respected his pace. You built a deep quiet relationship – that boy has never had a human before! So what am I telling you?
Me: That thinnest of slices lead to more than just allowing time for understanding of the procedure, they lead to confidence being built on both sides, understanding of each other, and that allows for unconditional love – how is that?
Ducati: Well, yes – the thinnest of slices is hard for humans and it sometimes irritates me! But what’s happened lately to our arena work. Why haven’t I been as keen – why am I not as excited to walk around the circle. What’s happening? I know you have been asking that.
Me: It’s why I’ve stopped for now. I know I was rushing ahead – jumping from one thing to the other. The saddle arrived. I wanted to get it on you and start on mounting block work. I know – you changed because I changed – I became a human who wanted to jump lots of steps. Why I can hear you ask. Because if I’m truthful I would say deep down I feel so inadequate – not just about not riding – but with some of this work – and I’m trying to push it all.
Ducati: And what was the difference with Magnum?
Me: I had no choice – it was go as slow as he needed or it just would not happen.
Ducati: Well, yes… but it was also that ‘others’ weren’t pressuring you to do that. The only one that was, was you – because otherwise he couldn’t be helped. You feel some pressure to get on me and I feel that.
Me: Yes – you’re right – ‘others’ – like the general horse world. It’s between us and no one else – even if it takes a long time! I’ve been caught in the trap of ‘others’ and tried to rush. And then I start wanting you to do things, rather than just enjoying the process.
Ducati: Unconditional love can often be undermined by pressure.
Me: But it’s not just about thin slicing – it’s about loving the being for who they are.
Ducati: Fear, pressure, tradition all get in the way of it. Horses need a language like clicker training – but they don’t need to be robots. We want a say in it. It’s the ‘conversation’. But if the human is not nice it’s not going to happen.
Me: Well that requires a whole change of attitude in the horse world.
Ducati: Yes – and you made a promise to us!! Riding the new wave of training style is about learning to have a different attitude or outlook – that is what will lead to charisma.
Me: I have a lot to do.
So – that’s one of the many conversations I have had … and about that promise – I mention it in this post Part 23 – Equitana…… an awakening….
You will also realise that he told me all this before I had the accident – I STILL didn’t listen. On the day of the accident I had reverted to One Way Heather… I’m a slow learner!!!
Next – I will talk about the magic that happens when you really do have a two way conversation!
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