Dreamcatcher… A Gift from the Heavens

During this time of lockdown,  my routine hasn’t really changed a lot.   But while my routine hasn’t changed much, something has changed….

I’ve been searching for the right words……

There is a clearness.  It feels like a layer has been removed ……..from the plants and animals.  But has there really been a layer removed?  Is it just that the chatter – the busyness – has made way for calm  and allowed me to focus more on the present – rather than forever planning for the future.

Over at the horse shed – which is close to the forest – it sounds so noisy!  But the noise is nature – I can hear the Wompoo pigeon calling from deep within the forest, hear the lorikeets munching in the trees, watch the fights between various birds, see the goanna making its rounds, as well as the scrub turkey – and the wallabies….  As the black cockatoos fly overhead, I hear their mournful cry – and far away in the sky I see the eagles soaring.

I also see the forest – see it more clearly than before – I can hear it breathing – there is faint rustling from the wind, the leaves glisten, the trees sway….  and as I look deeper into the forest, there is magic.  In the depths there are quiet goings on that we humans are unaware of.


And then of course – there are the horses…  My four fur children stand quietly while waiting for me – sometimes the wallabies and scrub turkeys are with them – all waiting –  for the human who shares goodies to eat – and lots of love!

Each horse has time with me – but let’s focus on Magnum for now.

I’ve documented Magnum’s history and progress in this blog – the change in him still makes me shake my head in wonder!  But wait…. there’s more!

magnum sw 2

Something is different – I can’t quite put my finger on it yet – but it feels like another layer has been peeled away.  I think I have mentioned before that sometimes as I walk past Magnum, he just takes my breath away…there is something surreal and magical about it.  I’ve sat with this feeling… it’s like he is other worldly – from another dimension… that’s the only way I can explain it.

And during this quieter time, at one point, I thought he was going to physically speak to me – like Mr Ed!  Now he didn’t do this – but what is it that I’m feeling?  I’m shutting my eyes now to relive that feeling… what is it?

I’m thinking about the Stephen King book called Dreamcatcher…..  it’s a typical horror story, there are a lot of awful scenes and an alien invasion – but there is a character called ‘Duddits’ – a disabled boy who is saved from bullying by a group of four boys.  They discover he has supernatural powers.   As they grow into adults, the four boys – now men – still meet each year.  During this time there is an alien invasion and the group of friends contact ‘Duddits’ for help.  Duddits is by then dying of cancer but in the end he turns into an alien and fights the bad guy.  That’s a very brief description.. What I mainly remember is that Duddits ended up being magnificent and heroic.  The boys had treated him with kindness and compassion.  Someone who had seemed so helpless was in fact powerful beyond belief.

Where am I going with this?  Why am I writing about it?  Hang on…. let me gather my thoughts…

I see parallels between Duddits and Magnum.  And one of the first things I remember about Magnum is that I immediately called him Dreamcatcher – when he was still circling the sale pen – bewildered and frightened.  The name brought tears to my eyes then and I didn’t know why.  But Emma wanted to call him Magnum – because his colours reminded her of the Magnum Ego icecream… so Magnum it’s always been – but I’ve never forgotten his first name, which I think of as his real name.

Am I saying that he will suddenly turned into an alien being – capable of destroying all the bad things?  No……

In treating Magnum with kindness and compassion – just as they treated Duddits – I’ve been able to discover how incredibly special he is.  Yes – all horses are special – but there is something still unfolding with him.  He has taught me so much – but now as I spend time with him – carefully going over his body and tending to the itchy spots – there is still something so wild…and beautiful…

Many years ago, not long after he first came here, I asked him where he was from… he told me he had lived in the trees.  And again I’m reminded of that, as I feel the trees, plants and animals are all having a great conversation – and we humans are too busy to stop and hear it.

I ask him “What do I still have to learn?  Teach me everything before you go!!”   I’m already feeling Magnum’s departure – he is still well and truly here – but I feel it…  I think it’s dread…   I never want him to leave – I’m already mourning his departure and he’s still here.  How long will he be here?  What else have I got to learn?

I now sit with this… waiting for those glimpses – waiting for a picture to form.  In the stillness, the retreat from what we humans see as ‘life’, I know that all this is only an illusion.  The real world is different from what we see… I’ve seen it before… Now I have Magnum… or rather… Dreamcatcher… with me – so I can see it through his eyes.

So while I wait to learn more, I’ve made a video – a collection of moments – that I’ve put together.  Even if you don’t watch any of my videos – please watch this one and tell me what you feel.  Maybe we can explore this together!

And so, I will keep you informed of any new revelations!



6 thoughts on “Dreamcatcher… A Gift from the Heavens

  1. In a way, lockdown has shown us what we could, should be doing – stepping back from our insane rush to destroy the planet in search of ‘growth’ and ‘wealth’ and giving space to all the other species here – and it’s quite painful for me to see the changes around me, even in my relatively rural location in Scotland, and to realise that practically all the rest of humanity can’t wait to get ‘back to normal’. My horses are happier with me here all the time – no having to go shopping every couple of days, no taking my mother to daycare, no taking her to medical appointments (video teleconferencing is fantastic) and I’ve seen more of them, been there for them, far more than usual. I can just drop everything and pop out to meet them as they come in for a little hay and a drink, and they appreciate that. They stop outside the windows to look in and check I’m on my way to join them in the yard, and they watch me in the kitchen to see when I’m on the way out to do breakfast feeds for them! This year is a wonderful gift to us, a forced pause for us to reconsider our behaviour and habits… and it hurts to think we’re going to throw it back at Mother Nature and go right back to ‘business as usual’. As for your anticipatory grief for Magnum… yes. I’ve just lost one of my small furries (a ferret) and watching him slowly decline, knowing he was going and I couldn’t help him, was incredibly hard. What’s helped me is trying to concentrate on the good moments, the happy bits, and remembering his vigour and health rather than frailty and pain. It still hurts, but I have to be here and look after my other fur babies as well as my mother, and keep reminding myself that all things pass… concentrate on now, do what needs doing now, take what joy I can find and remember the mucking out won’t do itself. Everyone handles grief differently, however, so please don’t think I’m trying to preach – only to sympathise.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. By the way, thank you very much for bringing a potential problem to my attention for my young Arab gelding – I’ve carefully spent sessions getting him used to being treated from his back before backing him, with the result that he took today’s first ever being ridden with total calm aplomb! It would never have occurred to me to check he knew about this in advance if you hadn’t posted about it a while ago.

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  2. I see from the first photo of Dreamcatcher that he has a face on his side. Looking at the white hair (left side) outline around his Ribs, looking into the brown hair. You first spoke of how you are settling into the moment, not chasing the future. So stay with the moment and drop your thought of DC moving on. That’s negative thoughts, which he Has picked up on. Beau and Jade, at Mels Clinic, both showed me the same thing – they are Super aware, not just aware but super aware. So stay with your beautiful horse, who is looking at you now.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Arvai – beautiful words… yes – I’ve been thinking exactly that these past days… and it came to me as I stood with him – anything is possible!!!! Thanks so much – I must look for that face!!

      Liked by 1 person

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