The following morning I headed out to the horses in a daze.  Their reaction that morning was different – they were all very quiet.  I went about feeding them – going through the motions….. and then – unfortunately – it was time to head to the nursing home to clear Mum’s room….

I didn’t want to see Stan – or anyone really – I just wanted to move everything out of the room.  With the three of us we went through it fairly quickly.  I took pleasure in taking all the photos down.  The Blu Tack also took off some of the paint – that pleased me….

Some of the patients asked about Mum – one lady burst into tears.  I said to Julie  that when I had settled down I may come back and volunteer to help her – but I never did.  I can’t even turn into the street where the home is.

Over the following week there was much to arrange .  Mum wanted a private funeral – just immediate family – as she had said ”Well most of my friends are dead now”.  We decided to do the whole funeral service ourselves.  It was a good time for us to go through photos, reminisce – and for the three of us to prepare some words.

We were taking Mum’s ashes to the lawn cemetery in Tamworth – where our father had been buried back in 1967.  When he died, from a heart attack,  we weren’t allowed to attend the funeral – so now was our chance to hold a funeral for him as well.  We made a booklet – selected music – and off we went.  I think we did well – and to be able to finally hold a service for our Dad – it felt like there was some closure.

Tamworth holds lots of memories – both happy and sad.  Of course the sad memory is losing our Dad at such a young age – I was 11 – and it is a shock from which you never really recover – you learn to live with it.

At the time though – what was very healing for me was the riding lessons I was having – for it was there that I really caught the ‘horse bug’!  I also developed an appreciation for nature and the open spaces.  I loved country life and all it had to offer.  We would be forever exploring the hillside behind our house which led to the lookout  – and it was a visit to this hillside which was next on our list – the hillside and lookout – holds many memories – and we drove there after the funeral and once again toasted both our parents.

Then it was time to say goodbye to Sue and family  – and the rest of us headed back home.  Ros stayed on for a few weeks – helping to sort Mum’s belongings and other affairs – then it was time for her to head home to UK.

It was a strange feeling not having to go to the nursing home, not having to deal with a place that didn’t do what it should, not having to deal with doctors etc. etc.  I felt a great freedom – and also enormous guilt.  I tried not to play over in my mind what I should have done.

Once again I turned my attention back to the horses and learning more about clicker training.  I had had so many stops and starts – how far had I really come?

It was now January 2014 – I had paid a deposit for the Five Go To Sea cruise in April.  I really didn’t think I would be going – but now I could attend.  It would be a wonderful way also to recover from the previous year.  Now I could plan a holiday – and now I could really immerse myself in the clicker world.  It was time to meet some of the clicker community…..

My parents were together again – I could rest easy…

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One of the great songs we played at the funeral – I like to think they were dancing away to this …

 

Moon River – Andy Williams  “….. two drifters off to see the world….”

mumdad

 

IF YOU ARE NEW TO THIS STORY, PLEASE START AT THE BEGINNING HERE – Part 1 – An Introduction

PLEASE SCROLL TO THE BOTTOM OF THE PAGE FOR PREVIOUS BLOG POSTS

 

One thought on “Part 94 – A Special Funeral…

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