Part 109 – Books, Therapy and Horses

In the first half of 2015, I continued having therapy, reading books and clicker training the horses.  It was a strange time.  Ducati kept improving – I got to know my new horse area, gradually making changes where needed – and I continued on my quest to change my outlook on life.

I visited Karen monthly – working away through the anger.  The new medication took a while to make a difference – but finally my head was out of the lounge room cushions!!

When I wasn’t outside with the horses, I was busy reading many books – some for my personal therapy – and others for clicker training.  However as frustrating as it was – I needed to focus on the personal ones.

The year started to roll along quietly.  I started to make more progress with Magnum – however I was still nervous of his sudden moves – and he was still ready to jump away if it was all too much.  But my design was working – I kept myself on the inside so he could run to the open space.

It rained a lot during that year.  In fact it rained so hard at times my new stable set up flooded!!!  It needed some drainage work.  Doug had put down a cement pathway for me – and I continued to experiment with where it was best to have the new pens.

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We worked on the flooding problem – now it is manageable.  The covered area made an incredible difference to the horse work.  I played with umbrellas (because it was raining a lot!), got Magnum used to a new purple halter in order to do some rope handling and started touching him more.  I tentatively taught him to lift his legs – the front ones first – I was scared of the hinds – I’d seen him kick out swiftly sometimes at the other horses…..

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All the horses were comfortable with the new setup.  I so enjoyed being out of the rain … or heat.  In summer I mowed and thought about either horses or my own issues.  In winter…. it was much the same – minus the mowing.  With the shorter days I spent more time reading…. and pondering…

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I also attended a horse clinic nearby with some of my old mates who do natural horsemanship.  They are a great bunch of people and I really admire their get up and go!!!  I go to the clinics with my animal communicator hat on.  But this time I was in such conflict.

A multitude of feelings raced through my head on those days.  I tried to be fairly quiet about my clicker training.  In fact I realised, in front of this group, I felt almost embarrassed.  Doubts arose in my head.  No one really asked me anything about it.  They were all riding quite safely.  I wasn’t even riding!!!

It was only later that I realised how much this was testing me.  As someone who was conditioned to strive to ‘fit the box’ – stay ‘normal’ – listen to the ones in authority etc. etc., here was a situation that would test how I was going with living without those constraints in my mind.

My positive reinforcement journey was therapy in itself – looking outside the box -questioning things – observing – becoming absorbed.  There was no going back!!

COMING UP – ANIMAL COMMUNICATION – WHAT DO THE HORSES SAY??

IF YOU ARE NEW TO THIS STORY, PLEASE START AT THE BEGINNING HERE – Part 1 – An Introduction

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