In the first half of 2015, I continued having therapy, reading books and clicker training the horses. It was a strange time. Ducati kept improving – I got to know my new horse area, gradually making changes where needed – and I continued on my quest to change my outlook on life.
I visited Karen monthly – working away through the anger. The new medication took a while to make a difference – but finally my head was out of the lounge room cushions!!
When I wasn’t outside with the horses, I was busy reading many books – some for my personal therapy – and others for clicker training. However as frustrating as it was – I needed to focus on the personal ones.
The year started to roll along quietly. I started to make more progress with Magnum – however I was still nervous of his sudden moves – and he was still ready to jump away if it was all too much. But my design was working – I kept myself on the inside so he could run to the open space.
It rained a lot during that year. In fact it rained so hard at times my new stable set up flooded!!! It needed some drainage work. Doug had put down a cement pathway for me – and I continued to experiment with where it was best to have the new pens.
We worked on the flooding problem – now it is manageable. The covered area made an incredible difference to the horse work. I played with umbrellas (because it was raining a lot!), got Magnum used to a new purple halter in order to do some rope handling and started touching him more. I tentatively taught him to lift his legs – the front ones first – I was scared of the hinds – I’d seen him kick out swiftly sometimes at the other horses…..
All the horses were comfortable with the new setup. I so enjoyed being out of the rain … or heat. In summer I mowed and thought about either horses or my own issues. In winter…. it was much the same – minus the mowing. With the shorter days I spent more time reading…. and pondering…
I also attended a horse clinic nearby with some of my old mates who do natural horsemanship. They are a great bunch of people and I really admire their get up and go!!! I go to the clinics with my animal communicator hat on. But this time I was in such conflict.
A multitude of feelings raced through my head on those days. I tried to be fairly quiet about my clicker training. In fact I realised, in front of this group, I felt almost embarrassed. Doubts arose in my head. No one really asked me anything about it. They were all riding quite safely. I wasn’t even riding!!!
It was only later that I realised how much this was testing me. As someone who was conditioned to strive to ‘fit the box’ – stay ‘normal’ – listen to the ones in authority etc. etc., here was a situation that would test how I was going with living without those constraints in my mind.
My positive reinforcement journey was therapy in itself – looking outside the box -questioning things – observing – becoming absorbed. There was no going back!!
COMING UP – ANIMAL COMMUNICATION – WHAT DO THE HORSES SAY??
PLEASE SCROLL TO THE BOTTOM OF THE PAGE FOR PREVIOUS BLOG POSTS