After lunch Kert was going to move on to other horses – but then he decided to go back to Ducati – he also asked me to sit out the front….. Oh no! The front! I dutifully went out there!
He started –
“When I do this characterisation, it is very difficult for me. Not because of the horse … This is teaching Heather. Ok? If you were not here, it would be much easier. In a phone call, I would never say things like this but now we are in a school, we can … I am feeling myself squeezed, I am not feeling that I can do freely my job. I cannot run through it. It is like I have to go over a hindrance before I can go back to the horse. I am saying something and you are fighting against it.”
Oooohhh – here we go. I think I had almost curled myself into a little ball on the chair!
Kert asked me if Ducati was a riding horse. I said yes – I assumed he meant was he broken in!!! I told the story – that my daughter found him, he is a registered Australian Stock Horse – and was bred for campdrafting – but my daughter lost interest and I struggled with my confidence to ride him.
I said that when he does go out he performs beautifully – people are stunned that he only goes out once in a while – and he loves to have a walk in the bush. I’ve ridden him several times – but Patty has ridden him more.
So he then made a spectacle of my confusion about the riding horse – every time I tried to explain he howled me down. He joked with the class about my confusion. He said it was a product of the brown world. How would I succeed in the chaos???
It went on – he pulled examples out to highlight my confusion – he argued his hooves were weak and I wouldn’t know if I had hardly ridden him, also how on earth would I know he liked to go out if it had happened so infrequently.
I realised quickly I needed to play his game if I was ever going to be able to get up from the chair anytime soon. I apologised for confusing him. He said it was okay – I was not in court!!!! It sure felt like it!!!
He continued and now directed his words to everyone.
“Keep this in your eyes! It does not make sense. Why are these horses in the world?
It costs so much to have horses … You need at least one assistant for the keeping and grooming if you have two horses. It consumes a lot of energy and time from you. So much that 50% of your time will be devoted to the care of your horses.
This type of horse is the typical horse that ends up with the so called ‘spare time rider’ Why is this horse on earth? Just look into reality! There is no time to sugar-coat this. What is then the outcome?
Where is the perspective of such a horse? … I have no chance to say it in another way than to ‘shoot’ it … Cathy [looks at her], is it too much I am saying?” “No Kert” she replies.. We have to see reality and then the signs will appear.”
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. He said to shoot him…..SHOOT HIM!!!!!!!!!
I also heard Patty struggling to stay calm. And why did he ask Cathy if it was too much? It’s my horse he’s talking about!!! My head was swirling back to the past – please refer to Part 9 – Breakdown, Enlightenment – and Memories from the Past ……
Before I could recover from that – he also made a joke of his makeup – the thin neck and the big head – the joke was that he would walk up to you and topple over – he thought he was really funny and everyone laughed. I was now imagining me punching Kert. He had his mouth open laughing and I wanted to put my fist right in down to his tonsils!
No wonder Ducati had been saying ‘keep still’!
One of the last things he said was that he was of average or low intelligence – I said I thought he was quite smart – he kept hammering at me why? And I was blank – couldn’t think of anything – except of course all the very wise information he had told me over the years. Kert once again used this as an example of the chaos in the brown world!
Afterwards people came up to me and said why didn’t I say that he talks to me. I said that is what Kert was waiting for because he knows I do and I just couldnt have me torn apart at that time – I was exhausted and so fragile!
And I paid money for this!!!
COMING UP – THE AFTERMATH
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